Humor: Notification

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Notification* While hiking along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River and struggle to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he carried. With him was a Mexican who also struggled to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs strapped to his back. If they didn't get help, they would surely drown. I informed the El Paso County Sheriff's Office and Homeland Security. It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded. I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps. * Editor's Note: This should not be construed in such a way as to incite violence. Breaking News: Toxic Waste is Toxic A recent test performed by the California Department of Public Health has indicated that a product (appropriately) named "Toxic Waste® brand Nuclear Sludge® Chew Bars" contains very high levels of lead. Read More » Observations I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here. I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"? I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect. No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team is winning. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. Motivation Submitted Click Here The Buck Stops sticker In the current White House, the buck always seems to be stopping somewhere, uh, over there. This high quality vinyl sticker measures 10" x 2.75". FAIL Submitted Submitted And now for a cartoon To subscribe to Patriot Humor, click here. To submit humor items for our consideration, email us at humor@patriotpost.us If you enjoy Patriot Humor, you should check out our other online resources: Opinion Rebecca Hagelin: Culture Challenge of the Week: Raising Strong Boys in a Soft Culture Thomas Sowell: Budget Crisis Rhetoric Cal Thomas: Contrasts in Black and Red William Murchison: Health Care Debate -- at Last Ken Blackwell: A Bright Idea: Rescue the Incandescents Paul Greenberg: The Shattered Glass: On Lee's Birthday, 2011 Dennis Prager: Libeling the Right: The Key to the Left's Success Michael Barone: A Sigh of Relief When Mad and Evil People Are Foiled Burt Prelutsky: And a Catepillar Shall Lead Us Debra Saunders: What Makes Brown Think He Can Get a Tax Increase? George Will: A Restorative Congress Jeff Jacoby: Fighting Public-Sector Unions Peggy Noonan: Obama Rises to the Challenge Linda Chavez: Uniting Congress Burt Prelutsky: More Reasons to Despise Politicians More Opinion Headlines Chinese Leader Hu Jintao Set for Lavish White House Reception on State Visit Iranian President Ahmadinejad, Russian President Medvedev Agree to Boost Ties Newt Gingrich Praises Barack Obama Outgoing Governor Rendell Wants to Install Animal Shelters at State Prisons California City May Put DUI Mug Shots on Facebook Government Finds Up to Half of Americans Under 65 (129 Million) Have Preexisting Conditions GAO: More Homeowners Have Been Cancelled Out of Obama's Homeowners Program Than Obtained Permanent Loan Modifcations Obama Orders Review of Business-Stifling Regulations, but Admits the Review May Produce New Regulations Report: Berkeley Set to Offer Sex-Change Employee Benefit Cheney: Obama Has Learned That Some of Bush Policies Were Right Dem Congressman: ObamaCare Repeal Will Kill People Sen. Brown: Forget 'Itty-bitty' R at End of Name More Headlines Reader Commentary Protect Government Officials at all Costs The Arizona Shooting -- Did We Miss the Perfect Teaching Moment? Grow The Economy, Not the Bureaucracy More Reader Commentary Policy The Heritage Foundation The Cato Institute Hoover Institution National Rifle Association Ludwig von Mises Institute National Center for Policy Analysis The Heartland Institute Follow The Patriot Post:                You have received this email because you are subscribed to Patriot Humor, a service of The Patriot Post. To subscribe to Patriot Humor and The Patriot Post, link to http://patriotpost.us/subscribe/. To manage your subscription or to unsubscribe, link to http://patriotpost.us/manage/ and log in with your email address.